Stuff I Watch in October: Halloween: Resurrection (2002)

Happy October and welcome! All 31 days this month, I will be reviewing all the films I watch in the month of October. They’re mostly a selection of horror or suspense films in my own library or films and shows that have been recommended to me.

Please enjoy and leave a comment!

And if you missed any of our past reflections, take a look:

The Phantom of the Opera (1925)
Psycho (1960)
The Haunting (1963)
It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown (1966)
The Other (1972)
The Legend of Hell House (1973)
Young Frankenstein (1974)
The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)
Halloween (1978)
Alien (1979)
The Shining (1980)
Halloween II (1981)
The Evil Dead (1981)
Halloween III – Season of the Witch (1982)
Ghostbusters (1984)
Teen Wolf (1985)
Aliens (1986)
Big Trouble in Little China (1986)
Predator (1987)
The Monster Squad (1987)
The Witches of Eastwick (1987)
The Lost Boys (1987)
Evil Dead II: Dead By Dawn (1987)
Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988)
They Live (1988)
Beetlejuice (1988)
Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989)
Ghostbusters II (1989)
Predator 2 (1990)
The Addams Family (1991)
Alien 3 (1992)
Army of Darkness (1992)
The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)
The Crow (1994)
Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995)
From Dusk Till Dawn (1996)
Scream (1996)
Alien: Resurrection (1997)
Scream 2 (1997)
Halloween H20: 20 Years Later (1998)
The Sixth Sense (1999)
What Lies Beneath (2000)
Scream 3 (2000)
28 Days Later (2002)
Bubba Ho-Tep (2002)
The Ring (2002)

Our next film is…

WATCHING: Halloween: Resurrection (2002)

Halloween: Resurrection

DIRECTOR: Rick Rosenthal returned to the Halloween franchise after deserting it for over 20 years. He should have never looked back.

WHAT IS IT?: Just when you think the Halloween franchise got a modicum of class and style back, along comes Halloween: Resurrection, the movie that effectively attempts to end the Laurie Strode saga (for the second time…and you’ll see how well THAT went) and then tries to go back to pure mediocrity.

THE PLOT: An Internet reality show called “Dangertainment” is setting up hidden cameras all over Michael Myers’ old home where, as a young boy, he murdered one of his sisters. The show will allow contestants to spend the night inside to figure out what made Myers snap and go nuts…and, of course, this doesn’t quite sit right with Michael who shows up to wreak havoc.
Oh, but wait! It’s two movies in one! The other’s about what happened to Laurie Strode (just in case you thought the producers forgot her character existed).

Four years prior to this shitshow, Laurie Strode was committed to a mental hospital after losing her mind. Turns out she didn’t REALLY kill Myers at the end of “H20”. I know, I was TOTES shocked, too. SHOCKED. Anyhoo, it turns out that (CHECKS NOTES) “after hijacking the ambulance which she thought contained Myers, Laurie actually lopped the head off of a paramedic who was unable to speak or tell her he wasn’t Myers.” How did that happen, you ask? (GOES BACK TO NOTES) “Myers, who was supposed to be unconscious, woke up and crushed the larynx of the paramedic tending to him — then took the time to switch clothes and put his mask on the paramedic.”

Anyhow, the first ten minutes of the film is dedicated to the final showdown between Laurie and her psychotic brother — and the result just pisses me off even more as Strode didn’t deserve the bullshit ending she got.

halloween: resurrection

WHAT DID CRITICS THINK?: The New York Post said it made Jason X “look Shakespearean”. Variety said it was a shameless money grab. Peter Travers of Rolling Stone called it a total waste of time. The New York Times said the audience’s jaws would be on the floor — from yawning. You can see where this is all going.

WHAT DID I THINK?: Here we are.

(DEEP SIGH)

I mean, yeah, I guess I should be used to this garbage.

First, I’m tired of Michael being unkillable. The movie teaches us that only two types of people can bust into a mental ward: Michael Myers and the Terminator. That entire ordeal (the first portion of the film) outweighs everything else that comes after it.

Like, after seeing the “final” confrontation between Myers and his sister, who the hell would want to watch the rest of the shitty film that comes after it?

Me. That’s who.

Halloween: Resurrection annoys me. It’s existence annoys me.

This should have been part of “H20”. The beginning of “Resurrection” should have been the end of “H20”. Sure, it would have been a downer of an ending but what the hell was the point of keeping Laurie around if you’re just gonna axe her in the next film anyhow?

I know Jamie Lee Curtis didn’t want to devote her time to making another one of these films…but, really, this could have been one, long movie with Myers vs. Laurie in a mental ward with all the other patients. How cool would that have been?

You’ll notice that I haven’t even talked about the second portion of the film. That’s because it isn’t worth talking about. It’s the same shit as all the other sequels, but worse.

I just don’t get it. I mean, Myers murders his sister, Laurie, then seemingly “retires”, handing his big ass knife to a nearby mental patient who’s obsessed with famous serial killers — and then he walks off.

But, nope. The movie continues.

The young people show up at Myers’ home, Myers shows up, people get stabbed to death (or worse), and this sucker goes on and on until, finally, Myers is knocked out of the picture, this time as he’s burned to death.

But, guess what? He’s NOT! I know. You’re shocked like I am. SHOCKED.

Thankfully, Halloween: Resurrection would be the end of the second “Halloween” timeline as the third (and oddest) would begin soon after, courtesy of Rob Zombie…

GRADE: D- (It avoids an “F” because of the Strode thing at the beginning)

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