Stuff I Watch in October: Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995)

Happy October and welcome! All 31 days this month, I will be reviewing all the films I watch in the month of October. They’re mostly a selection of horror or suspense films in my own library or films and shows that have been recommended to me.

Please enjoy and leave a comment!

And if you missed any of our past reflections, take a look:

The Phantom of the Opera (1925)
Psycho (1960)
The Haunting (1963)
It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown (1966)
The Other (1972)
The Legend of Hell House (1973)
Young Frankenstein (1974)
The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)
Halloween (1978)
Alien (1979)
The Shining (1980)
Halloween II (1981)
The Evil Dead (1981)
Halloween III – Season of the Witch (1982)
Ghostbusters (1984)
Teen Wolf (1985)
Aliens (1986)
Big Trouble in Little China (1986)
Predator (1987)
The Monster Squad (1987)
The Witches of Eastwick (1987)
The Lost Boys (1987)
Evil Dead II: Dead By Dawn (1987)
Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988)
They Live (1988)
Beetlejuice (1988)
Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989)
Ghostbusters II (1989)
Predator 2 (1990)
The Addams Family (1991)
Alien 3 (1992)
Army of Darkness (1992)
The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)
The Crow (1994)

Our next film is…

WATCHING: Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995)

halloween: the curse of michael myers

DIRECTOR: Joe Chappelle. He did some straight to video fodder before going on to produce a lot of TV drama sitcoms. Not gonna begrudge him for that, but he just isn’t a good filmmaker.

WHAT IS IT?: Just when you thought we might be rid of the “Halloween” franchise, along comes Dimension Films to milk whatever’s left of the series like it’s a prized heifer.

THE PLOT: Taking place several years after “Halloween 5”, Jamie Lloyd is preggers and gives birth to a son as part of some weird Druid cult ceremony, which Myers is attached to. After the birth, Jamie escapes with her baby with Myers in hot pursuit. Eventually, Myers DOES get to Jamie AND kills her — but the baby is hidden by Jamie before he does. The baby is discovered by an adult Tommy Doyle (one off the kids Laurie babysat in the original “Halloween”) who is now and adult and obsessed with Michael Myers and his history. After discovering this, Michael returns (YET AGAIN) to Haddonfield to go nuts and wreak havoc.

WHAT DID CRITICS THINK?: They absolutely hated it. The film was universally panned from cast to script to production to execution.

WHAT DID I THINK?: Ya’ pays your money and ya’ gets what you expects here — but even for a mediocre sequel, this is terrible. There’s just no other way around it.

Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers came out when Miramax/Dimension Films was going through a bit of a renaissance, when they were living off that sweet “Pulp Fiction” money and handing out film contracts and final cuts like candy. Unfortunately, this “success” wouldn’t extend to horror until 1996’s “Scream” or to this franchise until “Halloween: H20”.

hallowee: the curse of michael myers

First, Jamie deserved a much better fate than this. They open the film to close the book on her saga and end it ten minutes later — something which would occur with another character a little later into the series. Jamie is now…shit, I don’t know. She’s an adult. HOW she could possibly be “an adult” isn’t explained since she was “seven” in “Halloween 4” and “nine” in “Halloween 5” (🙄). This film takes place “six years later” which means the oldest Jamie could be is 15. Jamie does NOT look 15.

And we’re supposed to believe that little Steven Lloyd, A NEWBORN INFANT, could survive the entire night in a train station bathroom where somebody could hear it sobbing for food and comfort? I don’t think so.

Anyhow, her death still pisses me off. And the way she dies is so quick and cheap. And the way Myers doubles down and makes it worse. And then ratchets up the misogyny by going for overkill and…you know what? Nope.

Also, Donald Pleasence is back again because you just say HALF of the word “Halloween” and he came running. He finally shows his age here and this was his final film.

And, yeah, that’s Paul Rudd as Tommy Doyle. He’s decent in this playing up the “creepy loner” stereotype. He does bring some charm to the character when he cares for little Steven.

Anyhow…

I swear, there’s a bad attempt at a jump scene EVERY FIVE FUCKING MINUTES.

Every single time:

    • Somebody turns around
    • A hand is placed on someone’s shoulder
    • The phone rings
    • Somebody suddenly shows up in front of somebody when they look up
    • Somebody suddenly talks
    • Somebody breathes
    • Somebody sees something that ISN’T REMOTELY SCARY
    • The director decides to cut away to ANYTHING AND I MEAN ANYTHING!!! (Seriously? A jump crescendo when the camera cuts to Paul Rudd and Kara’s kid sitting on a bed, playing with his toys? A JUMP SCARE CUT WHEN CUTTING FROM KARA HOLDING A BABY TO A COMPUTER SCREEN?!)

It’s always accompanied by a loud BANG and you’re supposed to be scared shitless. And by the 10th time it’s happened in 30 minutes, you’re just going “Please cut it out…” It’s the worst editing EVER and it helps sink an already terrible film.

Anyhow, Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers is for hardcore fans or “Halloween” completionists…I’m not quite sure which.

Otherwise, I watch this just for the childhood background movie thrill.

GRADE: F

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