Stuff I Watch in October: Prometheus (2012)

prometheus

Happy October and welcome! All 31 days this month, I will be reviewing all the films I watch in the month of October. They’re mostly a selection of horror or suspense films in my own library or films and shows that have been recommended to me.

Please enjoy and leave a comment!

And if you missed any of our past reflections, take a look:

The Phantom of the Opera (1925)
Psycho (1960)
The Haunting (1963)
It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown (1966)
The Other (1972)
The Legend of Hell House (1973)
Young Frankenstein (1974)
The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)
Halloween (1978)
Alien (1979)
The Shining (1980)
Halloween II (1981)
The Evil Dead (1981)
Halloween III – Season of the Witch (1982)
Ghostbusters (1984)
Teen Wolf (1985)
Aliens (1986)
Big Trouble in Little China (1986)
Predator (1987)
The Monster Squad (1987)
The Witches of Eastwick (1987)
The Lost Boys (1987)
Evil Dead II: Dead By Dawn (1987)
Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988)
They Live (1988)
Beetlejuice (1988)
Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989)
Ghostbusters II (1989)
Predator 2 (1990)
The Addams Family (1991)
Alien 3 (1992)
Army of Darkness (1992)
The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)
The Crow (1994)
Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995)
From Dusk Till Dawn (1996)
Scream (1996)
Alien: Resurrection (1997)
Scream 2 (1997)
Halloween H20: 20 Years Later (1998)
The Sixth Sense (1999)
What Lies Beneath (2000)
Scream 3 (2000)
28 Days Later (2002)
Bubba Ho-Tep (2002)
The Ring (2002)
Halloween: Resurrection (2002)
Identity (2003)
AVP: Alien vs Predator (2004)
Shaun of the Dead (2004)
Snakes on a Plane (2006)
Alien vs Predator: Requiem (2007)
Halloween (2007)
Grindhouse (2007)
Halloween II (2009)
Predators (2010)
Absentia (2011)

Our next film is…

WATCHING: Prometheus (2012)

Prometheus

DIRECTOR: The great Ridley Scott. The prodigal son returned to the Alien franchise and it only took him over 30 years.

WHAT IS IT?: The long-awaited next installment in the Alien franchise which was so hyped up, you’d have to have facehuggers grabbing moviegoers in each seat for it to live up to expectations.

Let’s get this out of the way now…

Prometheus is actually a prequel to 1979’s Alien.

And even though it was, the producers pulled a “Star Trek Into Darkness” and kinda waffled and said it was and it wasn’t to the point that the editors at Wikipedia were denying editors from outright declaring that it was, in fact, “an Alien prequel”.
I don’t know if it was due to the fact that writer Damon Lindelof was involved with this thing (he wrote the movie) but I’m gonna say that’s probably a foregone conclusion.

THE PLOT: A group of archaeologists are sent into space by the Weyland Corporation after cave markings (which match several others around the world) point, not only to life on other planets, but the origins of life on our planet. What they discover, however, is terrifying and not only threatens the lives of the group but also the lives of everyone back on Earth.

WHAT DID CRITICS THINK?: The critics gave Prometheus positive marks, but criticized the film for a script they thought was lazy, plodding, and pointless. Roger Ebert gave the film four stars and said that it was a return to the “golden age of sci-fi”.

prometheus

WHAT DID I THINK?: Prometheus has Damon Lindelof’s pretentious fingerprints all over it, providing us with characters making dumb decisions (taking off your goddamn helmet on a planet where the air really may NOT be totally safe? Why not!) and has logical loopholes out the ass (how the fuck do you get LOST in a structure that you literally 3D-MAPPED?!) and is like an “Alien” movie MINUS the Aliens which are replaced by lame, uninspired creatures which look like design rejections from 1979…and a dude who “mutates” into a ghoul/zombie…thing. None of this is the least bit terrifying. It’s just unintentionally funny.

I get that Lindelof wanted to do something “different” and “mysterious” but this is the same guy who handed us the scripts for World War Z, Cowboys and Aliens, Star Trek Into Darkness, and Tomorrowland, all which range from “complete duds” to “severely fucking overrated” depending on who you ask, AND he was the showrunner on LOST which just became more and more ridiculous as the show dragged on.

He’s a goddamn hack and nearly everything he touches just turns to sludge.

His defenders will come at me with the new Watchmen series on HBO but he fucked that up, too. This is the same dude who literally told Alan Moore “Fuck you, we’re doing [Watchmen] anyway” during an interview. Yes, I know Moore is NEVER happy with film adaptations of his stuff. And I know studios and producers have basically said they will proceed anyhow…but Lindelof is the first idiot to say it OUTLOUD.

And if there’s anything worse than a hack, it’s an arrogant hack with a big mouth.

Anyhow, the film is decent, I guess, if formulaic.

The big save is a combination of the atmosphere of the film (most likely due in large part to the great Ridley Scott who could make a piece of dust rolling across the floor of your bathroom look great) and Michael Fassbender’s android character, “David” which prevent the movie from being a total loss — though I take issue with “David” being viral-marketed as The Creepy Evil Robot trope and then seeing him turn on the crew almost immediately as if we didn’t know that would happen already.

But one of the worst parts about this is that everything which occurred in the sequel, “Alien: Covenant”, makes this film almost entirely irrelevant and worthless.

Prometheus isn’t a bad film by any means…it just didn’t live up to the hype.

GRADE: C+

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