- Nikolai Volkoff faces Hogan for the WWF Championship
- Paul Orndorff will fight Rowdy Roddy Piper
- Andre the Giant and Tony Atlas fight Big John Studd and King Kong Bundy
- Uncle Elmer will face Jerry Valiant
- Lanny Poffo and Tony Garea will face Beefcake and Valentine for the Tag Titles
Mean Gene is in a Safari outfit. Your argument is invalid. He wants to keep us up to date on George “The Animal” Steele. Him and Steele tour a zoo because George Steele is an animal. Get it?
Gene has Greg Valentine, Brutus Beefcake and Johnny Valiant. He refreshes their memory about their last title defense in Philadelphia when they cheated.
MATCH #5: “Leaping” Lanny Poffo & Tony Garea (challengers) vs. Greg “The Hammer” Valentine & Brutus Beefcake (champions) (w/ “Luscious” Johnny Valiant) for the WWF Tag Team Champioonship
Valentine and Poffo start out. Valentine hits some elbows and a headlock. Poffo breaks free as Barry Windham and Mike Rotundo look on. Valentine slams Poffo and it’s a tag to Beefcake who Poffo manhandles with a hip toss, dropkick and slam. Beautiful Reverse Splash gets two. Beefcake takes control and the two heels whip Poffo into the corner. Quick tags in and out as Poffo finally tags Garea. He hits a cross body for two after a nice attack sequence. Beefcake into the buckle but Garea misses his attack. Valentine hits the Figure Four on Garea and we’re done.
WINNERS AND STILL CHAMPIONS: Brutus Beefcake and Greg Valentine
RATING: 1/2*…but it was nice to see Lanny Poffo in a match.
Uncle Elmer’s Wedding Reception is the last bit of business on tonight’s episode. Orndorff is dressed like he’s at a sports club, Hogan’s looks like a Chippendale, Vince is wearing a cheap tux and The Body is The Body, as usual. Lanny Poffo may have been beaten but he does write a nice poem for the happy couple. Even Tiny Tim is there. Uncle Elmer wears overalls and a tie and this whole thing is like some weird dream you have where your last two ex’s and Regis Philbin show up for no reason. Ventura has his own poem which starts so nice and gets into intense beat poetry. Hogan and Orndorff approach but Hillbilly Jim pushes him into the wedding cake.
We’re back and we learn that Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant will face Big John Studd and King Kong Bundy on the next SNME — four weeks from this episode.
We go off the air as Elmer and his new wife, Joyce, dance together.
OVERALL: *. Fun show but nothing to write home about. This is better than your usual late Saturday night fare.
Er, that’s it.